A Sermon preached by Rev. J. Stuart Taylor III
St. Mark’s Presbyterian Church
January 22, 2006
Situation 1: A couple realizes that after over a decade together they are at a crossroads in their marriage. And that what they do with this moment will effect them for the rest of their lives. Is there a way forward in their marriage or is it time to go their separate ways? Situation 2: A successful businessperson has a thriving family business, a good income for her growing family. To all eyes she is on top of the world. But she feels empty, bored; questioning whether this work will be enough to sustain her emotionally. What am I really called to do with my life?” she asks. Situation 3: A long time member of a church, a recognized leader of the congregation is feeling more and more that he doesn’t know what he believes. Or if he feels anything at all in the faith that she has practiced for years. “There has to be more to faith than this?” he asks himself. Three very different situations, but in all cases these are people facing the ambiguity of their lives and wondering what will they do next? All of them whether or not they would name it this way are in a moment of discernment. You know these moments when you are seeking to go down deep to find out who you are and who you are called to be. Discernment is never easy. And we are doing it all the time. Chances are you may be in a period of discernment right now, wrestling with a decision that is before you. Christians believe that we are not alone in such times. God is present, hoping, urging in all the situations of life. As Christians we not only seek to know God’s will for our lives. We believe that God is passionately involved in human affairs and intimately invested in our questioning. Let us turn to our text from 1 Samuel 3 and see what it might teach us about the spiritual practice of discernment.
1st Samuel 3, which is printed on the back of your insert, begins with a couple of clues about the context. In verse 1 it is written: “ the word of the Lord was rare in those days; visions were not widespread. The context of discernment is important, for an individual, for a congregation, for a nation. In Samuel’s time the context was one of spiritual desolation, religious corruption, political danger and social upheaval. It was a time not very different from our own. The word of the Lord seems rare in these days too. We live In a culture in which we are drowning in a seemingly infinite number of self-help books, therapies, focus groups, etc. yet we wonder is their a word from the lord that we can trust. Is there a vision that is compelling that will lead us into the future? The process of discernment begins in earnest for us when we have really named the moment in which we are living and recognize a hunger and a thirst for something beyond us, for something we perhaps can not yet name. Verse 2: “At that time Eli whose eyesight had begun to grow dim so that he could not see, was lying in his room; the lamp of God had not yet gone out”. What a lovely line from scripture and perhaps ironic. What is the lamp of God? It could literally be a lamp in the temple that had not yet burned out during the early watches of the night. Or as it seems to follow from the description of Eli ‘s advanced age, it is failing vision. It could be his eyesight or his inner vision. The lamp of God had not yet gone out -–that Inner Light that Eli had; that each of us has. Do you believe that within you there is a lamp of God? This lamp illumines your path that tells gives us glimmers of God’s will for us. The lamp of God teaches us about the truth of the lives we are called to live. It had not yet gone out. And it has not yet gone out for any of us. Life can be so confusing. So bewildering at times. We become scattered, divided. Overextended and we lose our way. We no longer recognize the God given light within. But it has not yet gone out.
Our scripture continues: And Samuel was lying down in the temple of the Lord where the ark was. Then the Lord called Samuel. And he said, Here I am. These words echo the prophet Isaiah, and his response to the call of God. But a big difference. Isaiah knew who was calling him. Samuel did not. What about us? Are we able to recognize the voice of God in the midst of human voices? The yearning for divine guidance is heightened when we consider all of the colliding forces that storm around us. There are the conflicted promptings that wrestle within us, the tangled mix of self-deceptions and authentic impulses for life. How do we discern the voice of God speaking to us in the midst of the cacophony of all too human voices? Thinking that his master had called him, Samuel goes to Eli 3 times saying "Here I am for you called me". I did not call my son, lie down again. And they go back and forth until Eli realizes what is going on. He realizes that it is the lord who is calling and he gives this counsel. Next time you hear the voice, this is what you will say; “Speak lord for thy servant is listening”. What this story suggests in Eli ‘s response to Sam. Is that our spiritual discernment is never just about us. About my inner lights. It is relational. 1 Sam 3 teaches us about the ancient practice of spiritual direction, the ministry of those who are called to help the rest of us learn to listen to God speaking to us through our lives. 1 Sam. 3 suggests to each one of us going through a period of discernment: Find a spiritual friend who can listen with you.
I remember a time in my life after seminary and ordination. And I was a year or two into professional ministry and I feeling pretty overwhelmed by my new role and all the demands being placed upon me. If I was going to be a spiritual leader of a congregation, then I had to actually have more of a spiritual life. I learned about a Catholic Sister by the name of Ellen Nolan who was doing something called Spiritual direction. I learned that it wasn’t therapy or counseling it was guidance in how to deepen my life in god. It was instruction in the art of prayer. It was learning how to listen to God. Ellen asked me if in my prayer time I ever listened to God. After thinking about it awhile I responded no. Because if I was honest in my prayer life such as it was, I did all the talking. There really was no opportunity for God to speak to me. Ellen turned me loose with this text, and encouraged me to allow time for silence and to use Eli’s guidance to Samuel as a kind of mantra. “Speak Lord for thy servant is listening” and then to sit patiently and wait. And if my mind wandered and I could hear nothing but self-talk, the chatter of my own brain then she encouraged me to refocus by repeating the prayer: “speak lord for thy servant is listening”. Think of how hard it is to genuinely listen to another human being. We have to turn off all the things we want to say back. In a sense we have to die a little death to truly hear what another has to say to us. We have to suspend judgment and actively take in what is being offered us. Listening is a kind of quiet openness that is very rare these days. How much more difficult then to listen to God? Speak lord for thy servant is listening. This was a very important tool that my spiritual director gave me. These words repeated over and over began to exercise an influence over my prayer life. Speak Lord for thy servant is listening, I had to slow down long enough to be quiet. I had to ask myself if I was really interested in knowing what God wants for my life. Speak Lord for thy servant is listening. I had to begin to detach myself from my own wants and impulses; I had to relax my tight grip on my own plans. I tried to be truly open to a word beyond me. A word that I might not could have imagined. Speak Lord for thy servant is listening. This experience of having a spiritual director in my life has helped me recognize that I need others to help me discern God’s will for my life. I need others who will help me learn to listen. That is the crux of the matter. Learning how to listen. Speak lord for thy servant is listening.
The Christian author Frederick Buechner, has been for many of us a spiritual director through his writings. And I quote his book, Listening to your Life: ” The question is not whether the things that happen to you are chance things or God’s things because of course, they are both at once. There is no chance thing through which god cannot speak – even the walk from the house to the garage that you have walked ten thousand times before, even the moments when you cannot believe that there is a God who speaks at all anywhere. He speaks, I believe in the flesh and blood of our selves and of our own footsore and sacred journeys. We cannot live our lives constantly looking back, listening back, lest we be turned to pillars of longing and regret, but to live without listening at all is to live deaf to the fullness of the music. Sometimes we avoid listening for fear of what we may hear. Sometimes for fear that we may hear nothing at all but the empty rattle of our own feet on the pavement. But be not afraid, says Christ. For lo I am with you always even unto the end of the world”. He says he is with us on our journeys. He says he has been with us since each of our journeys began. Listen for him. Listen to the sweet and bitter airs of your present and your past for the sound of him.”.
I believe that St. Mark’s as a congregation is entering into a time of discernment. For the last 6 months, the Session and their committees have been in a process of strategic planning which is certainly a work of discernment as we seek to discern where God is calling this congregation in the next 3-5 years. Yes there is the obvious decision before us about whether we will become a more light congregation, a community that proclaims what we believe about the inclusive gospel of Jesus Christ. But there is another discernment underway in our congregation. St. Mark’s has been known as a social justice church. A church that takes very seriously our call to act out our faith in the world. We are known as a church that lives the outward journey of the Christian faith. But what about the inward journey? What about the ministry of forming people on their inward journey as they live their lives in the presence of God. Could it be that we are being called to restore a balance in our common life between the inward and outward journey of faith? Could we be called to give energy not simply to our social justice commitments but to the life of prayer? Some of you have come to know the ministry of Teresa Blythe who is a spiritual director. She is available to anyone who has ever wondered “isn’t there more to my faith than this?” to anyone who might feel a particular calling to go deeper, to go within and explore and discern what God is calling you to. She is a spiritual friend who will teach you how to discern by listening to your life. Teresa is going to introduce us to the practice of discernment. Not just for our own individual lives but for the common life of this congregation. On Saturday March 11. We will gather for a morning to pray to be silent, to ponder, to talk and listen about where God might be calling St. Mark’s to be a place where people of faith have the opportunity to deepen their lives in God. To learn how to pray, to discern, to listen. If you think you might like to be a part of that group get in touch. This story of Samuel’s discernment speaks to the very heart of vocation as a prophetic community. For 6 days a week we live our lives out in the world making decisions about where we go, what we do. For 6 days a week we are seeking to be Christ’s faithful disciples, doing justice. Loving kindness, walking humbly with our God. And on the 7th day we gather in the temple and like Samuel we say with one voice: Speak Lord for thy servant is listening. May it be so.